In a moment that seemed almost scripted, Trump himself stepped forward, giving Musk a hearty handshake and slapping him on the back in that signature, slightly awkward Trump way. “Folks, I’ve always said Elon is a genius, and today, he just proved me right again. $5 billion? That’s yuge—and we’re gonna use every penny to Make America Great Again, Again.”

Musk’s relationship with Trump has been something of a rollercoaster. From brief flirtations with independence to awkward Twitter memes and now full-blown Dark MAGA solidarity, Musk’s journey has left many analysts scratching their heads.

The turning point seemed to come during their infamous August conversation on X, where Trump spent more than two hours waxing poetic about everything from illegal immigration to government regulations—oh, and that minor detail about surviving an assassination attempt. Musk, normally a man of few (public) words, appeared captivated by Trump’s fiery rhetoric. The bond that formed that day has now led to a financial partnership that is quite literally record-breaking.

Of course, the question on everyone’s minds was, “What exactly does $5 billion buy in a presidential campaign?” Musk didn’t shy away from providing answers.

“First, we’ll invest in some cutting-edge campaign technology,” Musk said, pausing for effect. “Imagine a fleet of fully autonomous Tesla Cybertrucks with Dark MAGA logos, canvassing the country and reminding people to vote for Trump. These trucks won’t just be delivering groceries—they’ll be delivering democracy!”

The crowd roared.

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