“And for those worried about voter turnout, don’t be,” Musk continued. “I’ve already designed a SpaceX rocket that will project Trump’s face onto the moon the night before Election Day. Every American will look up and think, ‘Yeah, that’s the guy who should be running the country.’”
In true Musk fashion, he wasn’t done. “And finally, we’re going to fund a new social media platform—one that’s even better than X. It’ll be called Freedom, and it’s where you’ll be able to say anything. No bans, no fact-checks, just pure, unfiltered freedom of speech.”
Unsurprisingly, the $5 billion donation made waves across the political spectrum. Trump supporters hailed Musk as a modern-day patriot, comparing him to George Washington with a little Steve Jobs thrown in for good measure. “Elon is doing for democracy what he did for electric cars,” one rally attendee said. “He’s supercharging it.”
But critics, as always, were quick to pounce. Democratic strategists accused Musk of attempting to “buy an election,” while progressive Twitter (or X, as Musk insists on calling it) went into meltdown mode. The hashtag #BillionairesBuyingElections trended within minutes of Musk’s announcement, though some argued that the trend was a self-fulfilling prophecy, given that Musk owns the platform.
Political analysts, meanwhile, pointed out that this donation marks the largest single financial contribution to a presidential campaign in U.S. history, though some wonder if Musk is more interested in cementing his legacy as a political kingmaker than in Trump’s policies.
