Reaching 70 doesn’t mean becoming invisible, incapable, or dependent by default. However, for many people, this stage brings a silent and painful change: they are no longer consulted, and they begin to be corrected, monitored, or have decisions made for them by others “with good intentions.” What was once respect for experience gradually transforms into control disguised as care.
Many older adults begin to notice something unsettling: they are spoken to in diminutives, decisions are made for them without asking, their judgment is doubted, and everything is justified with phrases like “it’s for your own good” or “at your age you shouldn’t be doing that anymore.” This treatment, although it may seem harmless or loving, has a name and profound consequences.
Infantilization: A Silent and Normalized V:iolence
To infantilize an older person is to treat them as if they have lost their capacity to think, decide, and understand. It doesn’t always happen with malicious intent. Often, it stems from fear, misguided love, or a culture that associates old age with uselessness.
The problem is that when others constantly make decisions for you, you don’t just lose autonomy: you begin to lose your identity. You stop feeling in control of your life, and over time, you even begin to doubt your own abilities. This process is slow, but devastating.
Psychology calls it learned helplessness: when a person, after many experiences where they are not allowed to make decisions, stops trying even when they still can.
The High Cost of Losing Your Voice
The loss of autonomy doesn’t just affect you emotionally. Studies show that older adults who maintain their ability to make decisions live longer and with a better quality of life. The brain needs to choose, solve problems, make mistakes, and participate. When it stops doing so, it deteriorates more quickly.
