Whoever takes the reins, they’ll have big shoes to fill—and an audience that’s likely still reeling from the sudden departure of one of TV’s most familiar faces.

As for David Muir? Whether he decides to launch his own news empire, team up with Elon Musk, or simply fade into the background for a while, one thing is certain: America’s most beloved news anchor won’t stay jobless for long.

NOTE: This is SATIRE, not real news.