.
Deeper Into the Dairy Rabbit Hole
One day, you notice that some of your cream got shaken too vigorously on the drive home. There are small globules of… is that butter forming? A quick internet search later, and you’re actively shaking a jar of cream, watching in wonder as it separates into butter and buttermilk.
The homemade raw butter is a revelation—golden, grassy, alive with flavor. Store-bought butter now tastes like wax by comparison. But what’s bread without butter? Clearly, you need to start baking your own sourdough to properly showcase your artisanal butter.
And that raw buttermilk left over from butter-making? It would be wasteful not to use it. Pancakes, biscuits, and ranch dressing are suddenly on the weekly rotation.
Meanwhile, summer arrives, and the thought occurs: wouldn’t that raw cream make incredible ice cream? One secondhand ice cream maker purchase later, and you’re experimenting with flavors, textures, and mix-ins that would make Ben and Jerry weep with envy.
But ice cream needs toppings, doesn’t it? Homemade chocolate sauce with raw butter incorporated for richness. Caramel sauce with raw cream that makes store-bought varieties taste like melted plastic. Butterscotch that actually deserves its name because you can taste the butter and the subtle notes of the scotch you splashed in.
The Collection Phase
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The Collection Phase
By now, your kitchen counters are crowded with specialized equipment. The cream separator that cost more than your monthly car payment but “will pay for itself eventually.” The antique butter churn you scored on eBay after a fierce bidding war with a museum curator in Wisconsin. The growing collection of 19th-century butter molds with intricate designs of wheat sheaves, flowers, and woodland creatures.
Your cookbook collection has expanded to include titles like “The Butter Bible,” “Forgotten Dairy Arts of the Amish,” and “Cream: A Life’s Devotion.” Your browser history is full of searches for “how to legally keep a cow within city limits” and “miniature goat breeds apartment-friendly.”
The Final Stage: Livestock
The inevitable finally happens. You find yourself driving home with a Nigerian Dwarf goat in the back of your SUV, having convinced yourself that your modest backyard is sufficient and that the neighbors won’t mind. Soon, one goat becomes two (they need companionship, after all), and two become six because it turns out goats are surprisingly fertile.
Or perhaps you took the bovine route, convincing a nearby farmer to board your Jersey cow, only to find yourself the owner of a cow-calf pair come spring. Now you’re researching small-scale dairy operations and drafting business plans for artisanal butter with letterpress packaging.
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