In a plot twist that could only happen in 2024, ABC has officially lost five major advertisers following the fallout from its controversial handling of the latest presidential debate. The network, known for its polished news broadcasts and long-standing tradition of hosting political events, has now been hit where it hurts most: its wallet. The post-debate advertiser exodus has cost ABC a whopping $27 million, with the network now vowing to never, ever host another debate again.
One of the first advertisers to pull out was a luxury car brand, whose spokesperson lamented, “When we signed up to sponsor the debate, we didn’t realize it would turn into a live fact-checking extravaganza. We expected a classy, uninterrupted political brawl, not a ‘Gotcha!’ fest.”
Soon after, a major fast-food chain followed suit, saying, “Look, we’re all for informed voting, but our customers don’t come to ABC for facts. They come for spectacle. Our customers want to enjoy their burgers and fries without the uncomfortable side dish of reality-checking.”
And so, one by one, major advertisers jumped ship, leaving ABC’s finance department scrambling to figure out how they lost $27 million faster than Trump could shout “fake news!”
