You scream, I scream… but not just for ice cream — for judgment. Believe it or not, your favorite scoop can say a lot about your least likable traits. That’s right. Beneath that creamy sweetness lies a cold, hard truth: your go-to flavor might be telling the world what people secretly can’t stand about you.
Ready to get roasted by your dessert choices? Let’s dig in:
🍓 Strawberry — You’re Fake Nice
You come off sweet, soft-spoken, and “harmless”… until people realize you’re a silent judger with a flair for passive aggression. You’re the type to smile at someone’s dress and say, “It’s so brave that you wore that.” Strawberries rot fast — just like your tolerance.
🍨 Hazelnut — You’re a Pretentious Food Snob
You’re the type to call Nutella “pedestrian” and insist your coffee beans are single-origin. Your palate is refined, sure — but your vibe screams elitist. You correct people’s pronunciation of “croissant” and judge anyone who uses pre-shredded cheese. People might admire your taste, but they secretly wish you’d chill out and eat a regular donut for once.
☕ Coffee — You’re Always “Tired” but Never Actually Doing Anything
Yes, you “run on caffeine.” Yes, you’re “busy.” But what exactly are you doing? Scrolling? Vaguely panicking? You give off productive energy but rarely deliver. You love the idea of the grind but crumble under mild deadlines. Your personality is 30% espresso, 70% excuses.
🫐 Blueberry — You’re Emotionally Fragile (and Proud of It)
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Whenever I make these, my hubby can down 4 all by himself!